It Was International Women's Day Yesterday But Most Women Are Too Busy To Give A Flying Feck About Equality

What with pole dancing classes in the morning and mindfulness in the afternoon, I didn’t have time for International Women’s day. Yet every year it finds me. Feminist indignation and “shocking” statistics abound.

But do the stats bear scrutiny? For example, I read that only 1% of titled land in the world is owned by women. Maybe women just don’t fancy owning land. It’s bad enough keeping on top of the housework without having to tend the flipping land too?

Women in part-time jobs in the UK earn on average 42% less than men. Kate Winslet dismissed talk of the gender pay gap as vulgar. I couldn’t agree more, especially when there’s an obvious solution. Work full time where the pay gap is only around 20%. Frankly though, if women had equal pay they wouldn’t know what to do with it. We already buy far too many cosmetics.

Shares in L’Oreal might benefit but then there wouldn’t be as much tax payers’ money left to subsidise the gap in revenue lost to tax havens.

The recession has pushed single mothers into poverty. Apparently 47% borrowed money and/or went without food in order to pay for childcare. Is it just me or is the remedy here a no brainer. Get married. Marrying for love is over-rated. The money I save in tax benefits as a married pays for 6 solarium sessions and a year’s subscription to The Lady.

Yesterday, Bono issued a feckwa against world leaders who have allowed women to plunge into poverty. 70% of the 1.2 billion people living in poverty are women and children. It would be churlish to point out that the amount Bono evades in tax could be enough (possibly) to lift an African country out of poverty or fund a rape crisis support worker in the UK or Ireland for a century. So I won't say that.  

Instead, I’ll blame women themselves. They need to “lean in” a bit more (so what if you get kicked in the teeth), be less complacent, climb that greasy pole and be better role models for children.

The BBC even caved into pressure when it sacrificed merit at the altar of political correctness. Panel shows such as QI and Have I got news for you now all have to have at least one woman. We’re talking about comedy here and everyone knows women are just not funny, let alone quick enough to compete with the likes of the hilarious Jimmy (the gang rape joker) Carr or Frankie (have you heard the one about the disabled child...) Boyle. Sarah Millican, Jo Brand, Gina Yashere, Bridget Christie, Sandi Toksvig, what were you thinking when you chose your career paths?

To end on a more sober note. Over two women per week are killed by current or ex-partners, and one in four women in the UK will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Apparently there are those in the criminal justice system who still ask the question, “What did she do to provoke him”.

Not dissimilar to the experiences of women and children who report rape. Former newspaper owner Eddy Shah reportedly said under-age girls who engage in “consensual sex” can be "to blame" for the abuse they experience.

That’s International Women’s Day done for another year. The window for  feminist leaning polemic outbursts has now closed. Fret not though ladies, for the Real Housewives of Haringey season has only just begun.